i always hear reports about how terrible americans are with geography. a cnn report tells us that only 23 percent of people between the ages of 18 and 24 can find iraq on a map. ok ok. iraq may be a tough one. but what are kids learning about geography in high schools? today was a real eye opener for me.
i never really understood how people could struggle with basics of geography. in elementary school we had to memorize the states in alphabetical order for the song "50 nifty united states", and the animaniacs helped us place capitals in those states with an equally catchy song. in 7th grade i had to memorize all the countries and capitals in europe. I have been forced to look at maps and find places my whole life. i guess they just dont stress that kind of information these days.
the students had an assignment to label every state and capital (with a star) and the national capital was to be marked with a star with 2 circles around it. 3 different students approached me and asked me if washington DC was the only national capital. 2 students asked me what the national capital was. and about 70% of the students (with maps in front of them) could not locate it. wha happened?
another student was asking about albuquerque. "Thats in new york, right?" he said while pointing to north dakota.
another student, quizzing another asked, "hey, whats the smallest state?"
"hawaii" he responded, but quickly caught his error with his infallible logic of "wait, that cant be right. my uncle lives there." you see, size is determined by the amount of uncles living in any given state. If there are no uncles there, you can be sure it has a higher probability of being a smaller state. in my case, arizona must be the largest state, as it contains 3 of my uncles. pennsylvania and texas are the second largest states, each with one uncle. the remaining 47 states are all tied for smallest state, all containing not a single uncle.
GEOGRAPHY!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Friday, February 2, 2007
Geometry/Algebra
todays lesson: dont take school too seriously.
today i taught math. it was so lame. it was kind of sad because i had no idea what the eff the kids were doing, so i couldnt help out. i just pretended like i did know, but wanted them to figure it out by themselves by reading the chapter again. i think they bought it. but thats not the lesson of today. todays lesson is to not take school, or life for that matter, too seriously. in other words, have a sense of humor.
7th period, last class of the day. naturally, the kids are all excited to go home and are very talkative and energetic. i didnt have a problem with this at all. i too was anxious to go home and was just as talkative as the students. they would joke around with me and i with them. of course, it got a little noisy. no big deal.
the door opens and in walks a student holing a paper for the regular teacher. when i told her that the teacher was ill, she turned to leave. being as quick witted as i am, i decided i would conspire with this girl to play a trick on my pupils. i asked her to tell the class that a teacher form down the hall sent her to tell them they were too noisy. the girl repeated what i had asked her. i then added "i guess i'll have to report this to your teacher, right? right??" and instead of hearing an "oh, mr. johnson, you are so clever! i want to be just like you when i am older!" the room fell silent. expressions of fear and absolute terror covered the once vibrant glow of youth preparing to end a school day. instead of songs of praise and admiration for a joke well played, i heard "please dont write a bad report, mr. johnson" and "we're sorry, mr. johnson. dont tell mr. ____"
i didnt know what to do. i told them not to worry. i would be merciful and overlook their most heinous of sins on that occasion, still not understanding how they didnt see me tell that girl to say what she did...
today i taught math. it was so lame. it was kind of sad because i had no idea what the eff the kids were doing, so i couldnt help out. i just pretended like i did know, but wanted them to figure it out by themselves by reading the chapter again. i think they bought it. but thats not the lesson of today. todays lesson is to not take school, or life for that matter, too seriously. in other words, have a sense of humor.
7th period, last class of the day. naturally, the kids are all excited to go home and are very talkative and energetic. i didnt have a problem with this at all. i too was anxious to go home and was just as talkative as the students. they would joke around with me and i with them. of course, it got a little noisy. no big deal.
the door opens and in walks a student holing a paper for the regular teacher. when i told her that the teacher was ill, she turned to leave. being as quick witted as i am, i decided i would conspire with this girl to play a trick on my pupils. i asked her to tell the class that a teacher form down the hall sent her to tell them they were too noisy. the girl repeated what i had asked her. i then added "i guess i'll have to report this to your teacher, right? right??" and instead of hearing an "oh, mr. johnson, you are so clever! i want to be just like you when i am older!" the room fell silent. expressions of fear and absolute terror covered the once vibrant glow of youth preparing to end a school day. instead of songs of praise and admiration for a joke well played, i heard "please dont write a bad report, mr. johnson" and "we're sorry, mr. johnson. dont tell mr. ____"
i didnt know what to do. i told them not to worry. i would be merciful and overlook their most heinous of sins on that occasion, still not understanding how they didnt see me tell that girl to say what she did...
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
ESL/American History
today's lesson: cheaters never prosper
today i taught esl (english as a second language) and american history. the assignment had a theme that corresponded with yesterday's holiday, martin luther king day. as a class, we went to the computer lab and the students were to research dr. martin luther king jr. and answer some questions about the man and the civil rights movement. naturally, the worksheet for the esl class was significantly easier to understand and find the answers. it involved questions such as "when and where was marting luther king born" and "what did rosa parks do and in what city" and things like that. despite the simple nature of the questions, many of the students decided that they would cheat, and copy off of other students in the class. there were about 10 students who did so. and despite their best efforts to keep it top secret by speaking in their native tongue, little did they know that many of their native words like "copiar" (copy) and "mas rapido" (faster) correspond very closely to words in portuguese, in which i am fluent. i knew exactly what was going on, and was excited to see what their results were.
they managed to get the birthdate and place of martin luther king, but after that it was all down hill.
rosa parks was famous for being the "mother of modern" which occured in "michighan"
when asked to cite three lines from the i have a dream speach, they all wrote "it was good because it was for freedom" (i was unable to locate this phrase anywhere in the speech)
and when asked why he was important, they all wrote the same response, word for word.
now, you may be thinking to yourselves, "leave them alone, jerk. they are learning a new language"... not so. this was the advanced class, which means they simply live in a bi lingual home, and are fluent in both spanish and english. also, wikipidia is available in spanish.
needless to say, they did not do very well on the assignment. and one wandered into a later class, and tried to give all the answers to another student. to which i responded "no es michighan"
today i taught esl (english as a second language) and american history. the assignment had a theme that corresponded with yesterday's holiday, martin luther king day. as a class, we went to the computer lab and the students were to research dr. martin luther king jr. and answer some questions about the man and the civil rights movement. naturally, the worksheet for the esl class was significantly easier to understand and find the answers. it involved questions such as "when and where was marting luther king born" and "what did rosa parks do and in what city" and things like that. despite the simple nature of the questions, many of the students decided that they would cheat, and copy off of other students in the class. there were about 10 students who did so. and despite their best efforts to keep it top secret by speaking in their native tongue, little did they know that many of their native words like "copiar" (copy) and "mas rapido" (faster) correspond very closely to words in portuguese, in which i am fluent. i knew exactly what was going on, and was excited to see what their results were.
they managed to get the birthdate and place of martin luther king, but after that it was all down hill.
rosa parks was famous for being the "mother of modern" which occured in "michighan"
when asked to cite three lines from the i have a dream speach, they all wrote "it was good because it was for freedom" (i was unable to locate this phrase anywhere in the speech)
and when asked why he was important, they all wrote the same response, word for word.
now, you may be thinking to yourselves, "leave them alone, jerk. they are learning a new language"... not so. this was the advanced class, which means they simply live in a bi lingual home, and are fluent in both spanish and english. also, wikipidia is available in spanish.
needless to say, they did not do very well on the assignment. and one wandered into a later class, and tried to give all the answers to another student. to which i responded "no es michighan"
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
post one:
i am a substitute teacher. sometimes i have good stories to tell about my experiences as a substitute teacher. i will post them on this blog. sometimes, my posts may have nothing at all to do with subistitute teaching.
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